Petals for armor

Treading Ever So Lighly

Wishful thinking embraces me nightly, 

wondering what life would be

if only I treaded lightly.

How I wish I was smarter — 

let myself pause and think.

I didn’t have to rush into a decision

but the pressure from each side envelope me 

and water fills my lungs out of nowhere.

Afraid and worried that one day 

no one will choose to stay.

But if only I treaded lightly,

maybe then I would have seen clearly

and wishful thinking would have escaped me

Fleeting Warmth

Building friendships comes naturally to me, 

as I carry sunshine and laughter in my wake, 

a certain charm that instills security,

a comfort felt by those in my company.

Yet, sustaining connections proves challenging, 

as sincerity eludes my grasp,

I often appear cold and distant,

and within, I lament why warmth never found me.

Night Turn Bright

I like to watch the night turn bright
when the first glimpse of light

creeps its way from my window 

I stare into hues of blue

turning brighter and brighter 

with each passing time

I watch the night turn bright 

and hope that this time

it does not turn dark on me 

all too quickly

so that I won’t be left

to watch another night turn bright

Every day, another mile stretches our distance,
with each unspoken thought widening the gap.
I sense you slipping away, growing more distant,
until you're just beyond my reach.

Crushed

I'm haunted by your nonchalance,
each night a restless churn.

Your apparent indifference,

unaware of the weight it bears,

presses upon my heart with crushing force.
How do I mend what you've fractured,

and navigate this paralyzing fear
of your inevitable departure?

Petals for Armor

I cradle flowers to my chest,
their petals weaving an armor,
fragile, yet adorned with beauty.

I tread a wary mile,

my finest defense in caution.
Alert but maintaing composure

nurturing these flowers...
envisioning a self-sustaining forest,
thriving without external care.

As long as you remain at a distance,
admiring from afar, I hope

all shall unfold seamlessly.

Missing Parts

I’m never going to be enough for anyone,

so I decided no one’s going to be enough for me.

The parts I’ve lost I will look for

in other places, maybe things, but no longer in people.

Grasping for Time

Time slips away too swiftly,

as hard as I try to hold onto its moments,

they elude my grasp and dissolve into memories,
forever lingering in the recesses of my thoughts.
I ache for their return,

like lost children never witnessed growing.

These ties to my past

hold immense value for me.

I dread the day it will all escape me
no longer in mind, no longer in sight.
May that day never come,

when even the echoes of what once was remain lost.

Unkind

Love has been unkind in its embrace,
as I welcomed its concept with grace.
Hoping with a chosen one to run,
yet, in the end, disappointment won.

Heartbreak spawned from a fleeting thought,
never blossoming into the reality sought.

Now, I decide to turn the key,

be unkind to love, let it go entirely.

Making Amends

I've underestimated the friendships that truly count,

those who welcome me even after months of silence.
The warmth they've consistently offered, I've assumed,

rests like a comforting embrace, renewing me with each encounter.

A fool, I must have been to seek elsewhere

the unwavering commitment that we have with each other Their faith in me never faltered, even if in my perception
I painted my friendship as a bother.

The blame, I cast upon my anxious heart,

for failing to recognize their enduring sincerity.
In introspection's gentle light, I see my part,

I'll mend the bonds, make amends, and restart.

Whispers in the Void

I feel the weakness in my chants,
a quiet ache resides within,
voiceless, yet a whisper lingers,
a muted melody I wish to begin.

More than silence, less than thunder,
my words falter in the vast expanse,
I scream, yet the world is indifferent,
a voice in the void, a fleeting chance.

In their apathy, I find my being,

a space undefined, a quest unseen,
though seemingly insignificant,

I strive, for it's all I've ever been.

A mere shadow in the cosmic dance,
an echo in the grand design,

yet, within this void, I persist,
for to do nothing, I'll not align.